


Portfolio 1

by wintergalaxy



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Epistolary, Gen, Minor S6 Speculation, Post-Season/Series 05, Swearing, Texting, Work Up For Adoption, but not much else, for the time being anyway, idk how to rate, this makes no sense
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-02 13:38:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15797637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintergalaxy/pseuds/wintergalaxy
Summary: cockroachleft the groupBadBitchaddedcockroachto the groupcockroachleft the groupBadBitchaddedcockroachto the groupcockroachchanged their username tofuck off diyozafuck off diyozaleft the groupBadBitchaddedfuck off diyozato the group—A season 6 AU told entirely through documents: texts, transcripts, notes, etc.





	Portfolio 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a kind of lighthearted, humorous take on the s6 theory that Eligius III's society will have more modern technology. I promise the time stamps are not a mistake. Partially inspired by the Illuminae Files, a sci-fi series told entirely through documents after the events occur.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As of the start of this chapter, most characters have their usernames set as just their names, except for Diyoza (BadBitch) and Zeke (sneke). I'm aware they're not very creative but this is all in good fun. Also, I've tagged this Bellarke because I plan on having some later, but right now it's just hints of Zaven and Memori while the plot gets set up.

C334529F0001CGM0001

 

**Earth Equivalent Date (EED): 31/08/2281**

 

_BadBitch added  sneke, Clarke, Bellamy, Raven, John, Octavia, Abby, Emori, Echo, Jordan, Nathan, Eric, Indra, Niylah, and Gaia to the group._

 

_BadBitch named the group “Annoying Power Rangers”._

 

 **BadBitch to Annoying Power Rangers (02:55)**  
Here, I made it. Per  @Clarke’s request, the small human won’t be included here. Obviously since Kane's still comatose he's not here either  
Anyhow, go nuts

 **Clarke (02:55)**  
Thanks for doing this

 **BadBitch (02:55)**  
It’s a smart idea

 **Jordan (02:55)**  
This is so cool!!! 

**Raven (02:55)**  
‘Bad Bitch’  
?  
Really?

 **BadBitch (02:56)**  
It’s an accurate statement

 **Raven (02:56)**  
I’d argue I’m the baddest

 **BadBitch (02:56)**  
In your dreams  
Y’all know you can change your username, right? They don’t just have to be your name

 **Raven (02:56)**  
Like what?

 **BadBitch (02:56)**  
Like mine  
Or something you love  
A nickname  
A title  
A play on your name, like  @sneke

 

_Eric changed their username to  Jack_

 

 **Raven (02:56)**  
Right  
I have the perfect one

 

_Raven changed their username to  spacewalker ___

____

____

 

 **sneke (02:56)**  
spacewalker?

 **spacewalker (02:56)**  
Let’s just say I have a long history of them.

 **sneke (02:56)**  
nice

 **spacewalker (02:56)**  
I know

 **Jordan (02:56)**  
I have an idea for mine!

 

_Jordan changed their username to  sunshine_

 

 **sunshine (02:57)**  
Because Ms. Diyoza said you can pick something you love  
And I love the suns  
I used to see the Earth sun too but these ones are happier  
Full of life

 **Echo (02:57)**  
every one go the fuck to sleep  
this is stupid

 **spacewalker (02:57)**  
Echo I know you’re still learning so I’m cutting you some slack but it’s ‘everyone’

 **Echo (02:57)**  
fuck off

 **spacewalker (02:57)**  
Love you too

 

_John changed their username to  pissd_

 

 **pissd (02:58)**  
still don get it  
whys it beep???????  
i smashed to pieces but still beeping

 **BadBitch (02:58)**  
I thought you morons lived in space.

 **spacewalker (02:58)**  
Yeah so?  
Also for the record I’m the opposite of a moron  
I’m literally a genius

 **BadBitch (02:58)**  
It’s a figure of speech but go off I guess  
So you’re telling me there was no such thing as texting there?  
Or even email?

 **spacewalker (02:58)**  
No  
Heard about it but no  
Ark was dying piece of crap  
Nothing but basic tech  
Computers only for the council and logistics  
And  @pissd it’s a holographic keyboard hooked into a *remote* system, of course destroying one mobile phone unit won’t do shit, the keyboard’s just going to keep appearing  
The main computer console is probably in your room somewhere  
And stop fucking destroying things or Zhang will probably kick us out  
Don’t screw this up for us

 **pissd (02:59)**  
aye aye capn

 **BadBitch (02:59)**  
Ok then  
Crash course in texting  
This is gonna be a doozy  
All caps LIKE THIS expresses extreme emotion or emphasis  
^ is to point back to another comment

 

_sunshine changed their username to  SUNSHINE!_

 

 **SUNSHINE! (02:59)**  
TWO HOURS UNTIL SUNRISE  
^^^ Like that?  
See I did two in one!

 **BadBitch (02:59)**  
Ye  
Next thing. Abbreviations for common phrases: bc/cause/cuz = because, lmao = laughing my ass off but just means funny, u = you, r = are, omg = oh my god, rn = right now, w or w/ = with, stfu = shut the fuck up, etc  
:) is happy, :( is sad  
Computer has way more emoticons though  
Punctuation or any sort of grammar not necessary  
As Mr. Murphy has figured out

 **pissed (02:60)**  
imagine me flipping you off right now  
because i am

 **Emori (02:60)**  
John…

 **pissd (02:60)**  
what

 **Emori (02:60)**  
Not the survivor’s move

 **BadBitch (02:60)**  
She’s right and she should say it

 **pissd (02:60)**  
stay out of this

 **Emori (02:60)**  
JOHN

 **pissd (02:61)**  
why dont u come over here and...stop me??

 **Octavia (02:61)**  
gross

 **Emori (02:61)**  
JOHN.

 **pissd (02:61)**  
if u know what i mean

 **spacewalker (02:61)**  
Literally everyone knows what you mean

 **pissd (02:61)**  
that was the point

 **Clarke (02:61)**  
Grow up, all of you  
We don’t have time for this nonsense

 **pissd (02:62)**  
o contrare princess  
havent u heard?  
we have all the time in the world now

 **Clarke (02:62)**  
No we don’t  
Hence this whole thing  
And don’t call me princess  
And it’s ‘au contraire’

 **pissd (02:62)**  
heard it both ways  
...princess

 **Clarke (02:62)**  
We’re typing, not speaking, Murphy

 **pissd (02:62)**  
so?

 **Clarke (02:62)**  
And I said don’t call me princess

 **pissd (02:62)**  
ok  
wanheda

 

_Clarke left the group_

 

 **Emori (02:63)**  
John what did you do

 **pissd (02:63)**  
hold on im fixin it  
forgot she hates that

 

—  


 

C334529F0001CDM0001

 

_pissd opened a direct message to  Clarke_

 

 **pissd (02:63)**  
sorry

 **Clarke (02:64)**  
Go away

 **pissd (02:64)**  
listen i was just teasing

 **Clarke (02:64)**  
Teasing is supposed to be funny  
Good-natured  
Friendly  
Not bringing up a) the nickname given to me because I was judged for being part of a class structure I had no control over and b) the title assigned to me when I committed genocide  
Take your “sorry” and shove it

 **pissd (02:65)**  
i know  
dunno what i was thinking  
i suck

 **Clarke (02:65)**  
No  
Don’t say that  
Just…  
Think about what you say sometimes  
You don’t suck

 **pissd (02:65)**  
now u sound like bellamy  
in my defense though princess WAS meant to be friendly  
reminds me of when everything started  
and all we wanted to do was kill each other  
not...do things we never thought we would  
u know?  
a weird nostalgia

 **Clarke (02:66)**  
Yeah  
I know  
...Too well

 **pissd (02:66)**  
anyway im trying to be a good guy now  
used to be doing it for bellamy’s sake  
so he’d shut the fuck up when we were first on the eligius ship  
now it’s for monty and harper  
so anyway i have a proposition for you

 **Clarke (02:66)**  
Sounds ominous  
Do I really want to know?

 **pissd (02:66)**  
well…

 

_pissd changed their username to  cockroach_

 

 **cockroach (02:67)**  
whadya say?  
wanna be disparaging nickname twins?

 **Clarke (02:67)**  
Murphy…

 **cockroach (02:67)**  
oh come on

 **Clarke (02:67)**  
Fine you win  
Too tired to argue

 

_Clarke changed their username to  princess_

 

 **cockroach (02:67)**  
Ahaha I DO win  
Adding you back now

 **princess (02:68)**  
Okay

 

—  


 

C334529F0001CGM0002

 

_cockroach added  princess to the group_

 

 **spacewalker to Annoying Power Rangers (02:69)**  
?  
Thought you hated that nickname?  
You just left the group text over it?

 **princess (02:69)**  
Not really  
Long story  
I’m alright now

 **BadBitch (02:69)**  
ANYWAY  
@ people to tag them and respond to them, but everyone already figured that one out  
Uhhh what else

 

_Echo changed their username to  GO TO SLEEP_

 

 **BadBitch (02:69)**  
Well. There’s one  
If a conversation annoys or inconveniences you then simply turn off your notifications  
Though if you do, remember to check back here at 4:30 because the whole point of this is to strategize

 **Nathan (02:70)**  
Cool

 

_Nathan muted the conversation_

_Abby muted the conversation_

_Gaia muted the conversation_

_Indra muted the conversation_

_Jack muted the conversation_

 

 **BadBitch (02:70)**  
The phones here are weird though so there’s probably a ton that I don’t know

 **SUNSHINE! (02:70)**  
We’ll figure this out together :)  
I lived on a spaceship and we didn’t have this texting thing either

 **GO TO SLEEP (02:71)**  
WE KNOW  
EVERY ONE STOP BOTHERING ME

 **SUNSHINE! (02:71)**  
:(  
Sorry!!  
I’ll go now

 **princess (02:71)**  
Leave Jordan alone, please  
Jordan it’s alright

 **GO TO SLEEP (02:71)**  
He’s being annoying though?  
All of you are

 **spacewalker (02:71)**  
Stfu E just mute your notifications like they said to  
@BadBitch did I use the right acronym there?

 **BadBitch (02:71)**  
Ye

 **GO TO SLEEP (02:72)**  
Fine but we talk about this in the morning

 **spacewalker (02:72)**  
I’m sure we will

 **cockroach (02:73)**  
update,, still beeping thanks to you

 **spacewalker (02:73** )  
Up yours, Murphy

 **cockroach (02:73)**  
likewise, reyes  
point is this FUCKING BEEPING is still the most fucking annoying thing in my entire life  
and i spent weeks of my life im never gettin back with jaha once IN THE DESERT  
and i cant find any console  
dont even know what console MEANS

 **spacewalker (02:74)**  
You've been in here causing half of the notifications yourself dumbass

 **cockroach (02:74)**  
thats  
beside the point  
i just want the noise to quit, i still want to GET the messages

 **Octavia (02:74)**  
never thought i’d say but i’m w  @GO TO SLEEP can you guys just stop

 **sneke (02:74)**  
pls

 **Octavia (02:74)**  
what

 **sneke (02:74)**  
say please

 

_Octavia is typing…_

 

 **spacewalker (02:74)**  
Ok...maybe everybody just relax

 **Octavia (02:75)**  
says the person who got mortally offended at the word morons

 **spacewalker (02:75)**  
Touché  
Regardless. Everyone relax

 **cockroach (02:75)**  
u know what  
screw the messages  
i gotta better idea  
credit to  @princess for inspiration

 

_cockroach left the group_

_BadBitch added  cockroach to the group_

_cockroach left the group _

_BadBitch added  cockroach to the group_

__

_cockroach changed their username to  fuck off diyoza_

_fuck off diyoza left the group_

_BadBitch added  fuck off diyoza to the group_

 

 **BadBitch (02:76)**  
We’re doing this for a reason  
So find the damn console, turn the noise off for now since you're too stubborn to just mute like I told you to, and STAY IN THE GROUP

 **fuck off diyoza (02:76)**  
make me

 

 _fuck off diyoza left the group_

 

 **GO TO SLEEP (02:76)**  
im out too spacekru will make our own plans

 

_GO TO SLEEP left the group_

 

 **spacewalker (02:76)**  
You do realize you’re the only one who calls us that?  
aaaaand she’s gone

 **BadBitch (02:77)**  
Ugh. I’ll just do it in the morning then.  
In hindsight this was not the best time of day to start this thing, but you know how it’s been since we landed.  
Everyone break for now.  
Welcome to your first group chat experience, kids

 

—  


 

C334529F0001CDM0003

 

_spacewalker opened a direct message to  sneke_

 

 **spacewalker (02:78)**  
You know, Octavia will ACTUALLY kill you  
You’re lucky Diyoza and I told everyone to stop  
Be careful next time

 **sneke (02:78)**  
nah  
she’ll be ok  
I hope.  
besides if it comes down to it I can take her

 **spacewalker (02:78)**  
...your funeral I guess

 **sneke (02:78)**  
can’t wait for the sweet embrace of death

 **spacewalker (02:79)**  
WHAT THE FUCK SHAW????  
Do I need to come over there?  
Are you okay?  
SHAW  
ZEKE  
ZEKE WHY ARENTYOU ANSWERIG  
????  
Zeke!  
Zeke I swear if you don’t answer I’m coming over

 **sneke (02:81)**  
relax  
death thing was a joke  
I went to the bathroom  
sorry  
also definitely keep calling me zeke, shaw’s too impersonal

 **spacewalker (02:81)**  
Hell of a fucking joke SHAW!!  
What the hell  
I don’t get it

 **sneke (02:81)**  
sorry

 **spacewalker (02:81)**  
It’s fine just don’t do it again  
Just glad you’re ok

 **sneke (02:82)**  
deal  
:)

 **spacewalker (02:84** )  
You know, it’s still so fucking weird how they tell time here

 **sneke (02:84)**  
base 10?

 **spacewalker (02:84)**  
Yeah  
100 second minutes, 100 minute hours, 25 hours per day, 134 days a year  
In Earth terms that’s almost three days  
I get that circadian rhythm follows the sun and all but no way humans can sustain themselves for 72 hrs straight  
Earth hours I mean

 **sneke (02:85)**  
they’re juiced, didn’t you see?  
and the younger ones sleep a lot

 **spacewalker (02:85)**  
Still, it’s hard to get used to

 **sneke (02:85)**  
it’s slow going, yeah  
but i think we’ll get the hang of it eventually

 **spacewalker (02:85)**  
Hope so

 **sneke (02:85)**  
Raven, I don’t want to be rude  
but I’m getting really sleepy

 **spacewalker (02:86)**  
OH  
Ok  
Go  
It’s fine  
I have to finish something up anyway  
You’re already asleep, aren’t you?  
Yeah  
Night, Zeke

 

—  


 

C334529F0001CGM0003

 

 **Bellamy to Annoying Power Rangers (04:23)**  
What the hell guys?  
went to sleep and woke up to all of...whatever this is

 **Octavia (04:24)**  
@princess can explain, it was her idea

 

—  


 

 **Notes from Dr. Velazquez (EED 10/11/2281)** : Most important members of new arrivals learn what passes for modern communication skills from one of the two born before the First Earthen Apocalypse. These skills are rudimentary at best even from the aforementioned pre-Apocalypse born. Clearly no experience with 23rd century technology. Reyes and Shaw do make note of the S-36 serum, however, as well as the different timekeeping methods. Griffin admits to war crimes and Murphy to, at the very least, attempted murder. Watch these four.

Through the main group message and individual direct messages, they reveal nature of relationships and sore points within. Cooperation in a large group not faring well. Anger a dominating emotion from all parties. Resolution of arguments quick, but not finalized. Few friendships here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can tell, I really enjoy playing with Diyoza and Zeke’s texting skills and gen z nihilism respectively, even if Zeke isn’t technically gen z.
> 
> Let me know what you think!


End file.
